It's more than just a watch that I've retired

Posted by , 2 February 2014 3 comments

It’s just a watch, but putting it into retirement seems to be less about upgrading and more about letting go.

I think that I’ve finally retired my old watch. But this has always been more than just a simple time-keeping device.

Thirty years ago, my Dad bought me this watch for my 18th birthday (bit of a giveaway about my age!). Clearly, I had an early attraction to gadgets because he knew I didn’t want some basic model with hands, but a digital watch with alarms, stopwatch, timer and more.

I have worn this watch nearly everyday since then. It has been with me through every important life event: engagement and wedding, birth of all three of my children, it was with me when I held Dad’s hand as he died. It has been through all of my adventures – travelled the world multiple times, been with me when I have dressed up in my finest for a ball and when I was lounging at the beach, it has been to every fire with me. Of course, this constant use means it has started to age (like it’s owner) – the face is scratched, the plastic ridges have been rubbed smooth, the backlight gave up years ago and the alarms are too quiet to hear. The band had to be replaced when the old one fell apart and I panicked about losing it.

But since my Dad died, it has been way more than a watch. It has been a tangible connection with him that I have worn on my skin every day. It’s the closest that I will ever get to touching him again – in love for me he bought that watch and gave it to me, and in love for him I have worn it proudly.

In retiring it in favour of my new flashy Pebble, I feel both a sense of loss of that connection to Dad and a nagging disloyalty to him. If I no longer need it like I once did, does that mean that I’ve moved on from his passing? Does it mean that I have finally passed out from the shadow of that great man, a shadow that seemed to protect and comfort me and which I swore I would never want to escape from?

I’m not really sure what to think. All I know is that is the small things like this, that remind me of the people who have changed my life, that I treasure more than the endless crap I seem to accumulate.

  Comments [3]

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  1. Ann Hayres

    Beautifully written Anura! From the heart! And I totally know where you are coming from! I have experienced exactly the same with a watch from my dear parents & quite a few other items that had had their days!

  2. Katharina

    Maybe it just means the watch has served it’s purpose. Dad gave us all so much more than the physical gifts. And those are the things that live under our skin rather than next to it. Nice blog. Love k

  3. aaron d. lopez

    ah, yea … its me
    if u believe in miracles, then this must b “one for the ages”
    Dad must b watching us all, he led me to find u …
    now, i can’t think at this moment, i am starting to cry … … …
    i loved him too
    He was truly amazing, even in the brief time, when he was my Dad … … …
    I saw him Laugh, get Mad, his Patience, his Inteligence, his Wisdom, his Kindness, and so much more …
    He was that way to his family,friends,business associates, and ALSO to a “goofy” kid from America, that came to love him. i had realized i felt that way when i had to say goodbye at the airport … in 1985
    He was a man with a huge heart. He was so many things, all wrapped into one person. Most of all … He was my Dad too.
    His best gift to me … my memories of being a son in his house and family. For that gift has lasted with me and endured in my mind …
    i guess u could say, it was the “watch” that He gave to me. Like u, ive held onto it all these years. It’s ok. It shows how much He could touch people and our lives … for me, that was his greatness. He has touched me again, somehow someway, here i am, here u are … what more can i say?
    I’m very sorry to hear of his passing. But, at least i know. For me, this is another gift, a gift of reconnection. For me, that is “priceless” … He must b watching! Afterall, thats why we called him, Dad!
    I’m sorry, it’s been so long …
    much love to u all …
    i feel better now, as my intial tears have stopped!
    and yes, i will b sure to thank God in a prayer, when i go to sleep tonite …
    and wow, i do remember that watch of yours !!! the picture u posted, only took a few seconds to jar my memory, honest! how amazing! it makes me smile, and feel connected to my past … 3-day bushwalk we went on / mcdonald’s runs / stopping by your work when i supposed to b at school / car ralley / watchin mad max-Road Warrior @the drive-in / wagging school with sharon to visit u at work in my final days there … (ok)(maybe?)
    i shoulda left (wagging school) out of this blog!
    It just represents how much i enjoyed spending time / being with u … i mean, i would take the bus to get to your work! it didnt bother me, at all. and? oh yea! sometimes the skateboard to the bus too, WOW. (what memories!) yep … AWESOME!
    and … OH … also, “i don’t appreciate” u appearing to b, VERY successfull in Life … Geneva? trips ‘round the world? grandchild? … WOW! its kinda like I’m being pissed on … and by my own brother … ALSO !
    wow, thanks alot, mate! (hahaha)(!!!)
    actually, i’m very proud of your accomplishments! its not surprising … but unlike u, i HAD to live in the shadow of both u&dad … for me, thats always been “way Big shoes” … then&now (ooouch) yep.
    but it’s ok. i kinda always had that “slacker” attitude ‘bout me anyway …
    i like to think its only slightly, BUT u would probably say … its ‘cause i’m a Yank! and being from california just make it worse … haha, (yea) so true! i’ll give “you’s” that one, i admit it! (ha ha)
    i hope this all gets to u, as i’m not huge on computers, let alone “blogging” (?)
    some rarely/occasional surfin of the web, and some useless chatroom convo back in the mid-nineties …
    to b honest i am here at the public library and was tryn to checkout the “goerge orwell book, 1984.” … and found the book and hopped on this computer …
    yep, “fair dinkim”
    as always, (yep)
    who could make such stuff up! (Honest!)
    NOT even Hollywood could …
    wow. what a small world we now live in. i coulndnt have predicted it. so amazing. yet so scary. imagine twenty more yrs. Unbelievable.
    sincerely, aaron.

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